I have a tumultuous relationship with sleep.  I need very specific conditions in order to fall asleep, and even if all those conditions are met, sometimes it just doesn't happen.  It seems pretty counter-productive evolutionarily speaking; I doubt I'll be taking the next leap with the rest of mankind.  August was particularly sleep deprived, with the best night of sleep resulting from three consecutive sleepless nights.  Passing out from exhaustion isn't really a reliable or relaxing sleep aid - it is actually incredibly stressful.  I prefer to get my sleep on a regular basis instead of it all being crammed into just one night.  Is that so much to hope for?
Gary sleeps anytime, anywhere, and for 16 hours a day.
Sounds like a beautiful dream.

I spent the past week trying to recharge. I actually forced myself to do nothing.  Doing nothing isn't something I accomplish easily - as my "nothing" days soon become errand running days, clean up days, or organizing stuff days.  This past week I actually managed to avoid the busywork I usually turn to and did nothing.  The most strenuous things I did this week were re-watching seasons three and four of The West Wing and playing video games.  Near the end of the week I did tidy the house, but I did it while watching The West Wing and it was surprisingly relaxing.

And the result?  I caught up on a lot of sleep and I actually feel alive-alert-awake-enthusiastic today. Which is such relief.  Being tired all the time is super frustrating and everything is made more stressful with a perspective that is skewed by lack of sleep.  Now, I just have to maintain this relaxed/able to sleep attitude so I can continue to enjoy regular rest.  This will probably involve finding the correct balance of all things in life: work/play, diet/exercise, anxiety/calm.  That should be easy enough to do, right?

Posted by Jen B On Tuesday, September 07, 2010 No comments


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